Independent

20/09/2011

am i dependent? or am i not?

well, last time i admit i am dependent.

everything "daddy" here "daddy" there,

but now, i've grown up alot.

most of the times, i do things my own.

i dont ask for helps if i am able to.

although i might looks like i am still very dependent person,

well, u wont believe what have i done all this while, alone.

yea, maybe to others this is normal, but for me, i am a guy that never leaves his footstep alone out from his family.

my first time take flight, i was alone. i dono where to go and what should i do, i made some stupid questions to strangers, but i did it, on my own.

i travel ups and down to almost every part in malaysia, alone.

i even drive back to KL from my uni, alone.

i eat, i sleep, i play, i walk, i dance, i live, all by myself.

i didn't complaint.

i do things never ask for companion if i am able.

what else should i do to prove that i am independent?

Perhaps, i should go travel to another country, Alone i guess.

tonight there's a zero fare. i guess i wana go a place, where can find my inner peace. out from others... although, i do admit, i wan to go with my loves one... i like to travel with my loves one... but i guess i am not going to have the permit to do so yet...

Hm.... decision... might be going to Bali alone i guess. ^^

will see how tonight. ^^

Well, i am just not good enough.

03/09/2011

Been working for a month in PB, and i already started to feel the pressure... no one knows what i faced and how they expect on me... the more expectation, the more pressure i get... i am new here, please don't push me to hard, u, u, u and u will just made me suffocate...

I am being lecture in the office, being lecture in my home, and i don't need anymore lecture from others already... i had enough... i don't need anymore nagging...

And one more very particular things i really care about, which is TRUST. Once the trust is gone, i will be gone too. All this while for 23 years, i never gain any trust from anyone.Its like my shadow that will not leave me even a second, DOUBT is my curse i guess. Its not like i am giving up easily, i am still trying... trying very hard... but in this month... i guess i lost my faith in myself... thats why i broke ppl's heart.. i cant take it anymore... i need a break.

U can said anything u wan, i am weak, i am sucks in relationship, i dun deserve anyone and what-so-ever. Yea, maybe u are right, why don't u think of why i will treat u like that? Well, some-others cant really see their wrong side, they will always win. i don't blame them, everyone have their flaws...

ARG!!!! WHATEVER LA!! LIFE SHOULDN'T BE THIS SORROW! LIFE GOES ON!!

GET OVER IT AND SCREW THE PAST!

focus with my works, need to learn more, i got a great job, and a great position.i am grateful for that, thanks to u my dear god, i should not complaint anymore. Any to nurse a grievance, just suck it up and swallow it and digest it and fart it, everything will be fine again.

GAMBATEH!!

歌手：

田馥甄

專輯：

My Love

歌名：

還是要幸福

不確定就別親吻

感情很容易毀了一個人

一個人若不夠狠

愛淡了不離不棄多殘忍

你留下來的垃圾

我一天一天總會丟完的

我甚至真心真意的祝福

永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福

你千萬不要再招惹別人哭

所有錯誤從我這裏落幕

別跟著我

銘心 刻骨

你還是要幸福

我才能確定我還得很清楚

確定自己再也不會佔據

你的篇幅

明天 開始

這一切都結束還我鑰匙的備份

我覺得再見可以很單純

我甚至真心真意的祝福

永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福

你千萬不要再招惹別人哭

所有錯誤從我這裏落幕

別跟著我

銘心 刻骨

你還是要幸福

我才能確定我還得很清楚

確定自己再也不會佔據

你的篇幅

明天 開始

這一切都結束

你還是要幸福

你千萬不要再招惹別人哭

所有錯誤從我這裏落幕

別跟著我

銘心 刻骨

你如果很幸福

半夜的簡訊我就無需回覆

因為你的悲喜已經有了 容身之處

我也 能有 最純粹的孤獨

最孤獨的孤獨

Love u Hebe~

AUG: working life START!

07/08/2011

my working life started since 1st of AUG....

many things to learnt and memorize!!! i hope i can catch up fast enough to impress my senior and my managers... sob sob*

luckily i have a great senior and colleague that helps me alot. thank god for treating me so good. i will work harder and earn more for me and my family lor! EMM!

6 months to go and i will be promote! cant wait for it! hehe.

July the brand nouveau départ

Halo my beloved Blog~~ its been awhile i abandoned u~ i am so sorry~~ i came back to visit u again now baby~

Lots of things happened in this few months, good and bad all comes in together. Well, this is life, face it bitch(me)! Ups and down only will paint ur life with various of colors~

First,

i am graduated, like finally! OMG. i passed with flying colors this last semester! HELLO! i get DEAN list man!! In this freaking hardest last semester!! Not much ppl actually get dean list in the last semester and i get it!!! i am so happy!! (i tout i might be failed after i done my exam). Now i only wish that i can wait my Convocation and get my cert smoothly~~ i wana have a very big size DOMOKUN!!! Cant wait for it!! XD

Second,

although i am graduated.... but i am still jobless.... until now!!! i have been a rotten guy that sit in front of the lappie for month than a month lor!!! Others were like work for one month dy... and i am still here, blogging.... its not that i cant get any job offer, i rejected 3 job offers!!! Even Public bank i rejected!! OMG.... too arrogant?? nah... i prefer Kuantan job... so i can at least be with my two old dearest one here which is my dad and my mum for a while first.... haiz... fast fast give me a job offer la god~~ i wan start work lor~~ i dont want to slack around like a useless person...

hopefully i can get some calls TMR!!! *finger cross*

Third,

a really heart ache news for us last two weeks... my uncle just passed away... its a very very heart breaking news for all of us... especially my grandparents.... i saw them cried so hard... my heart scattered around... i never seen them crying before... and my mum, its been a long time my mum never cried in such a pain... she is a woman that i really look up to... she is a really strong woman... a woman that happy go lucky (sometimes when the mood come in angst, beware to take cover ya, must wear a protection!!) but that day, she cried, i cant do anything but to hug her tightly, and my dad too. Haiz.... life is unpredictable... but its kind of relieved cuz at least my uncle doesn't have to suffer from the pain anymore... hopefully he will have a peaceful and full of joy on the other side. we always love u.

After that, i guessed that my grandpa too exhausted, and caused him fainted last week... which is a shocked news for all of us again... i am really worried for my grandma... i love them so much.... i stayed with them when i was small... for so many years... they are precious for me... i really hopes that my grandparents will recover soon... grandpa!! get well soon!!! God pls let them recover soon!! T___T

Fourth,

since i am not working yet... so i joined PIKOM pc fair 2011 and be the team leader. Its a really good experience. i learn alot and i had lots of fun. i stayed alone that few days because my parents went to KT to visit my grandparents.

Fifth,

hello!! my braces are gone!!! i removed it dy!!! my and wan yi finally removed it dy!!! WUHU!!! celebration!! but we still have to wear the retainers for years to come. HAIZ.... But hey! i have a brand new gorgeous teeth to show my charming smile! (such a thick face that never feel shamed! u are ugly bitch!T___T).

Sixth,

finger cross u bird, Bird! Thanks for coming down to me from heaven, i will appreciate it alot! i wont ever waste what God send to me, which is u Bird! i will precious u like the best u ever had!

Guys, SERIOUSLY, appreciate every single second, stop complaining and enjoy the view of this world before its too late! (although nowadays the world become uglier la...but there still have some nice exquisite view out there!) carpe diem mate~~

thats all for now~~

Dear July, i wish it will a good start for me into brand new (working) world ya!!! Ciao~

Half

Omg.... i am really becoming the actor in the song of Della 叮当--一半 (half)...

The whole song is just writing everything about my thought and my feeling!!

It is a Law of Attraction cuz i always listen to this song...

Its a really hurtful and full of loneliness feeling inside it...

really a heart sore song ever...

am i too pessimistic?

or am i thinking too much?

Well, i am Pisces, a full of emotional and thought sign.

i can be tough in front of everyone, but deep inside, i am weaker than anyone...

i need water to survive to swim suavely,

i am drying up now...

struggling on the land of dried and loneliness,

luckily i still have guts and determination to crawl and hope to find a pond of water that suits me...

well, pisces, its about two fish right?

now its only left one,

for sure everything will be in a dull way,

everything is in grey,

is very sorrow and gloomy world it lives in...

thats y this song appeared to be the most suitable song for a single Pisces.

丁噹 《一半》

喝酒的伴(drinking companion)
一起看电影的伴(movies companion)
早午晚餐的那个伴(breakfast,lunch, dinner's companion)
朋友不能留得太晚(friends cant stay up too late)
明天要上班(cuz tmr still need to go for work)
唱k的伴(k session companion)
一起去旅行的伴(travel's companion)
听懂我的笑话的伴(the one that can understand my lame jokes)
我的生活(my life)
只差那个人就美满(left the person to fill in and it would it perfect)
快乐剩一人分享(happiness that no one to share)
快乐就只剩一半(happiness left half)
喝一碗汤(drink a bowl of soup)
心怎么都不够暖(heart still cant be warmed up)
这张被单 这张睡床(this mattress, this bed)
再舒服都觉得太宽(how comfortable will also feel too big)
噢噢~~
没人分享(no ones to share with)
幸福就只剩一半(happiness will only left half)
就算把日子都填满(no matter how pack my daily schedule is)

节日却提醒我孤单(those festivals will just reminds me that i am lonely)

没有想法(no thought)
有想法又能怎样(so what if i have thought?)
只能写部落格整晚(end up blogging whole night... [like what i did now!!! >.<]...)

几个留言安慰不了(few messages wont help anything)
心里的遗憾(the regretfulness inside the heart.)
没有负担原来也是种负担(no burden also consider as a burden)
自由多得让人心慌(because too much freedom makes us feel frightened.)
你羡慕我(u envy of my life)
那要不要跟我交换(then would u like to exchange with me?)

快乐剩一人分享(happiness that no one to share)
快乐就只剩一半(happiness left half)
喝一碗汤(drink a bowl of soup)
心怎么都不够暖(heart still cant be warmed up)
这张被单 这张睡床(this mattress, this bed)
再舒服都觉得太宽(how comfortable will also feel too big)
噢噢~~
没人分享(no ones to share with)
幸福就只剩一半(happiness will only left half)

努力把日子都填满(no matter how pack my daily schedule is)
别来提醒 我的孤单(dun come and reminds me, how lonely i am)

快乐剩一人分享(happiness that no one to share)
快乐就只剩一半(happiness left half)
喝一碗汤(drink a bowl of soup)
心怎么都不够暖(heart still cant be warmed up)

这张被单 这张睡床(this mattress, this bed)
再舒服都觉得太宽(how comfortable will also feel too big)
噢噢~~
没人分享(no ones to share with)
幸福就只剩一半(happiness will only left half)

就算把日子都填满(no matter how pack my daily schedule is)
没人知道 我多孤单(no ones know, how lonely i am)

well this song is full of emotion,

all i wish to all those singles out there is that,

stay strong! one day u will surely find someone that suits u!

dun have to be rush, cuz love dun come by rush and force!

dun give up just yet! have faith on love! good luck everyone!!

i am also waiting for my right one!! lets together pray to get a good companion la!! good luck to me too! haha

its late now, its time to say goodbye lor! ciao~~

Is time to move on!

Ppl were born to this universe,

Ppl will grow along with the environment,

Ppl will learned from the mistakes,

Ppl will change from what they learned,

Ppl will regret with what they've done,

Ppl will look back when they are old,

Ppl will "fly" to other universe when its time.

Well, this is life, human life cycle, ppl will never be the same always...

Since we know that, why we still want to invest our everything on other Ppl?

Ppl is the most insecure stuff that need the most expensive insurance to insure, but i think even the insurance hardly make us feel secure no matter how much u invest on it...

Even ourself, is hardly believe sometimes...

But from all the alternatives,

We, ourself, is the still the best to believed in.

Ntg is perfect,

Even u get 100% marks for exam, u still cant make ur parents feel enough.

Get used to it, faced it, be prepared for it,

Life is cruel, but Ppl are way more cruel,

Ppl wont be with us for the entire life,

Yes, we need them, but we need ourself more to survive, to live,

We live for no one but us.

Let the by gone be by gone.

Its time to let go and leave the past behind,

Store it in a box, put it aside, once in a while go check it wont harm anything,

Cuz its part of our story.

So its time to get ur ass off and MOVE ON,

Dont just live in the memories, hanging ourselves there.

U will missed alot of beautiful scene around u.

Well, its time to move on,

Going to hit my bed now,

And start my new day tmr with full of excitement!

(hope that MY NEW DREAM will be with me forever and will come true soon~)

NIGHTS MATE!!

CHEERS!!

Orz Orz!!

RAWR!!!!

finally i dropped a super heavy rock on me!!!

International Finance that killed me drastically since the beginning of the new year, the most crazy subject i ever had in my entire life!! and now i cast "u" be gone with the wind~~

although i dont think i done it perfectly, but at least i done my best la~~~

THX to YOU!!! u know who u are~ always gives me the strength and motivate me although always at the last minute la~~ but still gives me the power to sprint!! thank you~~

suddenly so into my WIFE's song, avril~~~

wish u were here~ lets rock avril!!!

I can be tough,
I can be strong,
But with you, It's not like that at all,

Theres a guy who gives a shit,
Behind this wall,
You just walk through it,

And I remember all those crazy thing you said,
You left them running through my head,
You're always there, you're everywhere,
But right now I wish you were here,

All those crazy things we did,
Didn't think about it just went with it,
You're always there, you're everywhere,
But right now I wish you were here,

[chorus]
Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here.

I love the way you are,
It's who I am don't have to try hard,
We always say, Say like it is,
And the truth is that I really miss,

All those crazy thing you said,
You left them running through my head,
You're always there, you're everywhere,
But right now I wish you were here,

All those crazy things we did,
Didn't think about it just went with it,
You're always there, you're everywhere,
But right now I wish you were here,

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you,
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here,

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you,
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here.

No, I don't wanna let go,
I just wanna let you know,
That I never wanna let go,
Let go, Oh, Oh,

No, I don't wanna let go,
I just wanna let you know,
That I never wanna let go,
Let go, Let go, Let go...

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you,
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here,

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you,
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here.

HOW I WISH U WERE HERE BY MY SIDE!!! >.<

nah~~ i just shouting to the wall in my room on my own~~ haha.