because of you...

I cried a lot because of you (I cried every night~)
I laughed a lot because of you (Because of you)
I believed in the love because of you
I’ve lost everything because of you
I’m speechless, suffocating and lonely
The world without you has
Chewed out my heart
Stomped on my dignity
Torn apart my heart
So why did you leave me behind?

It also rained on that day
You’ve stared at me wordlessly
You’ve stared at nothing else but me
Those trembling gazes,
And the awkwardly forced smile
Speaks of our separation...

Then I cry silently and wordlessly
Cause I want to stay next to u
My luv is true, wanna go back 2 when I was with u

I miss u… I need u…
Even in my dreams I’m wit u..
I miss u… I need u…
Rewind back the time
I wanna kiss u again ma boy…
My heart aches
It’s too much to bear
And where are you? (I cried a lot)
Can’t live without you
Please come back to me
And stay with me....

i am still me...

i am still me...

the old stupid me...

just with lots of experience....

know how to be better for our love one...

i used to be give up very fast...

i used to be very weak...

but now...

i am going to be stronger...

i am going to be tougher...

i am going to be more hardworking...

because i am going to wait till the day u come back to me again...

i am going to wait till the day to hold ur hand again...

because i love u...

i am doom..

isit loving someone is a crime???

isit caring someone is a sin???

then send me to hell,

cuz i done lots of crime and i made alot of sins in my life....

i just cant understand???!!!! why???!!!

what is happening???

i cant shout i cant cry...

what am i suppose to do now.... what...

lucifer, u just doom me.... u just cruelly doom me to hell.... y dun u just kill me instead of torturing me?

what should i do?

what should i do???

where should i go?

who i belong to?

what you want me to do??

what do you want from me??

i really dono what you really want me to do...

i don wan to guess anymore...

new sem new chapter of life...

12 aug 2010

it's been a while since the last drop at here...

this sem starts alot of new thing new experience for me....

1st,

i first time drive alone from penang to uum, and first time drive to campus!( feel happy and also feel worry bout going to spend more for this sem....)

2nd,

new roommate.... a sarawakian.... spent 3 weeks with him ... and still manage to survive... hope everything goes well...

(this sem starts in hell for me.... my heart cry for dono how many times.... everything goes so wrong in my path.... but finally i get up and stand strong... and see lots of new faces from those i knew for so long...)

3rd,

all the subject for this sem is so tiring.... and i have been chosen as the leader for many groups...

dun worry, i try my best....

4th,

first time try out as a model for a friend of mine, Ah Ma quenny loo... a pro photographer apprentice... support her~

5th,

hmm.... my life feel really empty.... i dun have friends that i can hang around... found out that all ppl around me are getting their own life partner.... and i am still here... din even step forward....

walking alone and stand alone in the corner... looking and enjoying others happiness.... wish everyone can last long forever... haha....

wandering around and no place to go or to hide.... this feel is so suffering yet is trying to make us stronger and tougher... this feeling no one ever feel... and i don wish anyone to feel that...

where am i now?? what am i doing now? what i do next? what i am doing for? where shud i go? who am i? who am i.....

this feeling, whos right, whos wrong, i already don't feel to discover it....

the more u love someone is going to be more harder to guess what is in their mind.....

520...

20/05/10

todays date is so nice... every couple sure likes this number... 520... means i love u in chinese...我爱你... this word is so simple but it means alot... a powerful word...

i am sure today those couple will have a romantic night out with their love one...

i so wish to too... sigh~~

bao bei's 22th birthday~

13/05/10

today was my bao bei's birthday!!! wuhu~~

POLC concept is using for this day~~haha

Planning: afternoon go for gym, night go for celebration at Black pearl~~

Organizing: ask my dad to fetch me to gym..( prepare for whole body ache... aiks!!><)

Leading: suppose to go buy a piece of cake for bao bei, but due to my lateness... aiks~~ all tak jadi and then siew siew fetch us all~ haha

Controlling: reach Black Pearl, and the place is so Texas~ the feel is quite good~ but when comes to menu, owh.... only one page of food choices????? aiks....

so we end up by ordering 3 fish and chips , and i order pork sausages with mashed potatoes which is my favorite~~ hehehe

but the drinks.... we look at the menu, only got 7 choices of drinks... all syrup, so we all order for different taste of syrup...

who knows... it was alcohol drinks mix with fruits! mine is the strongest liquor mix with bloody orange! lolx!!!

i don't drink alcohol unless is wine!

the food was ok, but the drinks to us is NOT OKAY! zzz...

Black Pearl~

Black Pearl~

fish and chips

pork sausages and mashed potatoes~

after we finish our dinner, and the alcohol drinks~

we decided to go beach to get some wind, as we are getting hotter and hotter after the alcohol!!! erg....

but we still SS as we used to lar~~ hahaha

me and bao bei~~

me and yoke sun~~

the drinks that makes us dizzy~~lolx~~

after beach we decide to go for a drive and go see those AQUA working~~ haha

thats the end of the day~~ what a full of entertainment day~~